Hey guys!
Today I wanted to talk to you guys about something that has really been infiltrating my life recently, and not only has it been stressing me out, it's been getting me down and making me feel awfully insecure.
As you guys know, I am a performer. I sing, I dance, I act, and I love being on the stage. Growing up, I have been in countless productions all over the country (and the world!) and this includes both amateur and professional productions. You'd think, now that I'm older, I should be working already on major productions, trying out different performing platforms like TV and film. However, these last couple of years, there has been an obstacle that I cannot control that is constantly in my way of achieving my ultimate goal.
The fact I haven't "trained".
There are major performance colleges in London such as Arts Ed, Millennium, Mountview, Guildford School Of Acting, etc. And every single one of these schools are extremely expensive to not only attend, but to audition for. When I was completing my A-Level Musical Theatre course at a regular performing arts specialist college, all of my classmates were completely set on auditioning for these schools, and you'd think, being the MT nerd that I am, that I would be all for it to. However, that was certainly not the case. For two reasons: I personally did not feel ready to leave home, and my family could not afford to send me anywhere, let alone a major performing arts college.
Obviously, there are scholarships and funding available, but there were not that many, and with so many incredibly talented people applying for them, I felt like there was no hope. Plus, after speaking to professionals already in the business, they told me not to worry, as I already had an agent, lots of contacts, countless performance experience and great credits that would already get me through the door.
Don't get me wrong, these last two years have been amazing! I've traveled to places I never thought I would get to see, I've met some incredible people, and the majority of auditions I have been to have been majorly positive. But those big auditions, for west end shows, for major TV shows, and for movies, well, let's just say they haven't been coming my way recently.
My agent recently pushed me to participate in a workshop with a huge casting director, who casts shows such as Wicked, Book Of Mormon, and Charlie & The Chocolate Factory. Two days before the workshop, I emailed her in a panic, telling her I couldn't take part as it was giving me awful anxiety attacks just thinking about it. My insecurity of my talent was stopping me from taking part in something that was ultimately going to make me improve, and help me learn what to do and what not to do. In my head, I thought that I was going to walk in there completely unprepared, and make a fool of myself in front of a team of people who have trained at all the big schools, and that everyone was going to laugh in my face. After talking to my agent, I decided to just do it.
The workshop was probably the best thing I could've done for myself.
It was fabulous! The Casting Director was firm, but super lovely, and the MD was laid back and fun to work with. If I took anything from the workshop, it was that I am not as crap as I thought I was. I was terrified that they would ask if I had trained, and when I would tell them "no", they would straight away think I was awful. But out of the 17 people that were taking part, I was the only one that the MD praised. The casting director told me the only issue that he saw was the fact I was so nervous! (And this CD was literally ripping everyone to shreds! Critiquing every little thing, so you can only imagine how shaky I was feeling!) Once I got over my nerves, I performed what he called the "perfect audition". For those wondering, I sang 16 bars of I Cain't Say No from Oklahoma! And my song choice was a last minute decision, as pretty much every song in my rep had either been put down by the CD and MD, or someone else in the group had already sung all of my other songs. Also, the CD had mentioned previously during the evening that he was a huge fan of Rodgers and Hammerstein. So, obviously, I wanted to impress.
Not only were the professionals impressed by my performance, the other workshop takers were also taken aback. They couldn't quite believe how good I was, which I giggled at. Because, to be honest, I do look like the typical "Musical Theatre Youngster", slim, blonde, with a positive vibe. To them, I probably looked like a little 20 year old MT freak, who sings along to musical soundtracks in her bedroom, thinking she's the next Idina Menzel!
I travelled home late Monday evening with a skip in my step, ready to research new songs to sing, and to not let my nervousness and anxiety get in my way.
What was funny was that, last night, my agent called to tell me that she had to push for me to be seen by a certain "off west end" casting director, who didn't want to see me for an audition because I "haven't trained". Apparently, this director, who was putting on a show in London and was paying the actors through "profit share", only wanted to see performers who had trained at certain colleges. Which is obviously ridiculous. You'd think that, for an off west-end production, that the director would want to see raw, fresh talent. But noooo, apparently, he just wants clones from big, fancy musical theatre schools.
He apparently also pointed out the fact that the majority of my credits included pantomimes directed by my own father. To him, it looks like a bad thing. What my agent pointed out to him was the fact that my father is a trained professional, who has performed in the original casts of Barnum, Cats, Charlie Girl, and has directed shows all over the world. Once the casting director knew of my fathers history, he mentioned that he was "intrigued" by me. Finally, after a lot of convincing by my agent. he decided to see me. Although I'm not sure if I even want to do it. Plus, ironically, I already have plans that can't be rescheduled at the same time as the audition.
A lot of the time, my agent puts me up for west end shows and touring productions, and I'm never selected for a private audition, mainly because I don't have a fancy school on my CV. But at the end of the day, does that mean I'm not talented? And when people tell me I could get into these big schools easily, I tell them that getting in isn't necessarily the problem! It's the cost of it all! Even auditioning for all of these schools would put me back around £400. And that's money I don't have! Even if I got one of the big scholarships, living expenses would be too much for me to handle. London is an expensive city, and unlike a lot of my friends and fellow performers, I can't run to my parents asking for more cash. With rehearsals, classes, a full timetable that takes up all hours of the day, even a job to earn money would be impossible. More options should be available to low income performers, as sooner or later, the "trained performers" will not necessarily be the most talented, but training will become a wealthy privilege.
Look at certain performers who hadn't trained, yet are performing in the West End! Carrie Hope Fletcher, for example, who is currently Eponine in Les Miserables. Not trained, but had amazing credits from a young age and got into the show by excelling in another platform: music. Look at performers who started out on reality television! Amelia Lily is currently performing in American Idiot, but she started on The X Factor! Sutton Foster, Broadways darling, HASN'T TRAINED! Sherdian Smith performed with the National Youth Music Theatre, working with professionals growing up, but didn't go to a major college in London at age 18!
All I'm saying is that I am frustrated with people who believe that low income means low talent. And, unfortunately, there will always be people like that in this industry. And that people ignore the fact that I have played lead roles in front of audiences as big as 5,000 for a week in various different countries, yet they still think I'm mediocre. I just have to keep believing that my day will come when someone will pick me because of a fabulous audition, not because of a fancy name on my CV.
Fawce xoxo.
Today I wanted to talk to you guys about something that has really been infiltrating my life recently, and not only has it been stressing me out, it's been getting me down and making me feel awfully insecure.
As you guys know, I am a performer. I sing, I dance, I act, and I love being on the stage. Growing up, I have been in countless productions all over the country (and the world!) and this includes both amateur and professional productions. You'd think, now that I'm older, I should be working already on major productions, trying out different performing platforms like TV and film. However, these last couple of years, there has been an obstacle that I cannot control that is constantly in my way of achieving my ultimate goal.
The fact I haven't "trained".
 |
| The Sound Of Music - April 2013. Myself performing as Liesl Von Trapp, second from the left. |
There are major performance colleges in London such as Arts Ed, Millennium, Mountview, Guildford School Of Acting, etc. And every single one of these schools are extremely expensive to not only attend, but to audition for. When I was completing my A-Level Musical Theatre course at a regular performing arts specialist college, all of my classmates were completely set on auditioning for these schools, and you'd think, being the MT nerd that I am, that I would be all for it to. However, that was certainly not the case. For two reasons: I personally did not feel ready to leave home, and my family could not afford to send me anywhere, let alone a major performing arts college.
Obviously, there are scholarships and funding available, but there were not that many, and with so many incredibly talented people applying for them, I felt like there was no hope. Plus, after speaking to professionals already in the business, they told me not to worry, as I already had an agent, lots of contacts, countless performance experience and great credits that would already get me through the door.
Don't get me wrong, these last two years have been amazing! I've traveled to places I never thought I would get to see, I've met some incredible people, and the majority of auditions I have been to have been majorly positive. But those big auditions, for west end shows, for major TV shows, and for movies, well, let's just say they haven't been coming my way recently.
My agent recently pushed me to participate in a workshop with a huge casting director, who casts shows such as Wicked, Book Of Mormon, and Charlie & The Chocolate Factory. Two days before the workshop, I emailed her in a panic, telling her I couldn't take part as it was giving me awful anxiety attacks just thinking about it. My insecurity of my talent was stopping me from taking part in something that was ultimately going to make me improve, and help me learn what to do and what not to do. In my head, I thought that I was going to walk in there completely unprepared, and make a fool of myself in front of a team of people who have trained at all the big schools, and that everyone was going to laugh in my face. After talking to my agent, I decided to just do it.
The workshop was probably the best thing I could've done for myself.
It was fabulous! The Casting Director was firm, but super lovely, and the MD was laid back and fun to work with. If I took anything from the workshop, it was that I am not as crap as I thought I was. I was terrified that they would ask if I had trained, and when I would tell them "no", they would straight away think I was awful. But out of the 17 people that were taking part, I was the only one that the MD praised. The casting director told me the only issue that he saw was the fact I was so nervous! (And this CD was literally ripping everyone to shreds! Critiquing every little thing, so you can only imagine how shaky I was feeling!) Once I got over my nerves, I performed what he called the "perfect audition". For those wondering, I sang 16 bars of I Cain't Say No from Oklahoma! And my song choice was a last minute decision, as pretty much every song in my rep had either been put down by the CD and MD, or someone else in the group had already sung all of my other songs. Also, the CD had mentioned previously during the evening that he was a huge fan of Rodgers and Hammerstein. So, obviously, I wanted to impress.
Not only were the professionals impressed by my performance, the other workshop takers were also taken aback. They couldn't quite believe how good I was, which I giggled at. Because, to be honest, I do look like the typical "Musical Theatre Youngster", slim, blonde, with a positive vibe. To them, I probably looked like a little 20 year old MT freak, who sings along to musical soundtracks in her bedroom, thinking she's the next Idina Menzel!
I travelled home late Monday evening with a skip in my step, ready to research new songs to sing, and to not let my nervousness and anxiety get in my way.
What was funny was that, last night, my agent called to tell me that she had to push for me to be seen by a certain "off west end" casting director, who didn't want to see me for an audition because I "haven't trained". Apparently, this director, who was putting on a show in London and was paying the actors through "profit share", only wanted to see performers who had trained at certain colleges. Which is obviously ridiculous. You'd think that, for an off west-end production, that the director would want to see raw, fresh talent. But noooo, apparently, he just wants clones from big, fancy musical theatre schools.
He apparently also pointed out the fact that the majority of my credits included pantomimes directed by my own father. To him, it looks like a bad thing. What my agent pointed out to him was the fact that my father is a trained professional, who has performed in the original casts of Barnum, Cats, Charlie Girl, and has directed shows all over the world. Once the casting director knew of my fathers history, he mentioned that he was "intrigued" by me. Finally, after a lot of convincing by my agent. he decided to see me. Although I'm not sure if I even want to do it. Plus, ironically, I already have plans that can't be rescheduled at the same time as the audition.
A lot of the time, my agent puts me up for west end shows and touring productions, and I'm never selected for a private audition, mainly because I don't have a fancy school on my CV. But at the end of the day, does that mean I'm not talented? And when people tell me I could get into these big schools easily, I tell them that getting in isn't necessarily the problem! It's the cost of it all! Even auditioning for all of these schools would put me back around £400. And that's money I don't have! Even if I got one of the big scholarships, living expenses would be too much for me to handle. London is an expensive city, and unlike a lot of my friends and fellow performers, I can't run to my parents asking for more cash. With rehearsals, classes, a full timetable that takes up all hours of the day, even a job to earn money would be impossible. More options should be available to low income performers, as sooner or later, the "trained performers" will not necessarily be the most talented, but training will become a wealthy privilege.
Look at certain performers who hadn't trained, yet are performing in the West End! Carrie Hope Fletcher, for example, who is currently Eponine in Les Miserables. Not trained, but had amazing credits from a young age and got into the show by excelling in another platform: music. Look at performers who started out on reality television! Amelia Lily is currently performing in American Idiot, but she started on The X Factor! Sutton Foster, Broadways darling, HASN'T TRAINED! Sherdian Smith performed with the National Youth Music Theatre, working with professionals growing up, but didn't go to a major college in London at age 18!
All I'm saying is that I am frustrated with people who believe that low income means low talent. And, unfortunately, there will always be people like that in this industry. And that people ignore the fact that I have played lead roles in front of audiences as big as 5,000 for a week in various different countries, yet they still think I'm mediocre. I just have to keep believing that my day will come when someone will pick me because of a fabulous audition, not because of a fancy name on my CV.
 |
| Selfie at the top of the auditorium. One of the biggest venues I've ever performed solo in. Playing Rapunzel in Muscat earlier this year. |
Fawce xoxo.
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